If you’re reading this post, you’ve got a lot on your mind, and you likely have for quite a while. We know even thinking about placing a loved one in a nursing home can trigger feelings of guilt and frustration. If we may offer some advice, cut yourself a break if you can. You don’t need to make a decision by the time you finish reading this. But hopefully we can give you some food for thought.

The question of whether or not a nursing home is the right move for your loved one can be complicated. There’s a lot to consider, and a lot of other questions to ask. To help you navigate this mental minefield, it’s helpful to consider the different people who play a role in the decision.

The Patient

Sometimes you can ask your loved one directly about what they think of moving into a nursing home. Other times, the ability to converse with them may have become strained due to Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, or other circumstances. Regardless, there a number of questions you can ask yourself about your loved one that can help shed some light on the do or don’t question of a nursing home.

Is the health of your loved one at risk? Caring for a loved one is often overwhelming. Between in-home care, your own attention, and the aid of other family members, you can have someone nearby your loved one for most of the day, and accidents like slips and falls can still happen.

They can occur even when you’re alongside your loved one. Often times, an increase in the frequency of these accidents is what brings caregivers to nursing homes like The Woodleigh of Baton Rouge. In patients with dementia, sometimes it’s an issue of wandering away and getting lost, rather than getting hurt, that makes living at home, alone, or with loved ones, an unfeasible option.

In addition to providing a full support staff to help watch over your loved one, nursing homes have medical staff on-site should an accident occur. In addition, everything about the nursing home is catered to the unique needs of the patients. Tubs, showers, and beds are easier to get in and out of, there are less stairs to navigate—the challenges present in a typical home have been addressed in the nursing home community.

Is your loved one lonely? Whether a patient lives alone, has visiting medical service, or lives with a caretaker, their social circle is often extremely limited. This often leads to social isolation, which can further exacerbate cognitive decline, health problems, and depression, contributing to an overall lower quality of life. The activities and opportunities for socialization at a nursing home can have a tremendous mental and emotional benefit.  

The Caregiver

As a caregiver, you’ve likely been consumed with thinking only of your loved one. Let’s take a step back and spend a few minutes thinking about you. Caregiving takes a tremendous physical, mental, and emotional toll. You’re allowed to ask: is my health as a caregiver at risk?

Rest is in short supply when you act as your loved one’s caregiver. Whether you provide part-time support, or act as the primary caregiver around the clock, fatigue sets in and seems to settle deeper and deeper in your bones. Even when you’re not directly providing care, such as when you’re at work, or when a visiting nurse or aide is with your loved one, the worry never stops. As time goes on, fatigue leads to exhaustion, and that worry turns to paranoia. When your brain is always on high alert, anxiety builds to unmanageable levels.

Many caregivers often fail to recognize their own needs. This can take many forms, including not eating well, or simply not eating very often. As time goes on, your own health deteriorates, increasing your risk of illness. Sometimes, symptoms are more acute. The constant physical attendance on their loved ones has caused many caregivers to sustain long-term injuries such as prolonged or permanent back pain. Often times, caretakers wait until they can no longer physically provide care to contemplate putting their loved one in a nursing home. By this point, many caregivers need some type of care themselves.

Parents often reach an age where they require care right as their children enter prime wage-earning years. A decision to quit a job or take a step back from full-time to part-time in order to avoid the costs of nursing home care can have detrimental effects in the long run. With earning reduced, caregivers can find themselves running through savings accounts, or simply failing to add to their savings, creating risks should an emergency arise. We’ve also watched caregivers struggle to return to the work force after patients have transitioned into nursing home care. Their years-long absence from their career often bars their re-entry to said career, or requires them to re-enter at a lower level than they left.  

Perhaps the most tragic consequence of overextending one’s time as a caregiver is the development of resentment toward the loved one they’ve spent so much time caring for. This frustration brings with it a new wave of guilt. These negative emotions have a way of feeding off one another, each growing more intense. What started out as an act of love can transform the relationship between caregiver and loved one into something unrecognizable.  

Friends and Family

We’ve found that caregivers often have blinders on when it comes to recognizing the signs of when it’s time to place a loved one in a nursing home. Either they are the last ones to know that the time has come—or the first to know, but the last to admit it. As we said earlier, oftentimes, caregivers are so weary and overtaxed that they fail to recognize their own limits, focusing with tunnel vision on the ever-growing needs of their loved one.

In these situations, it can be helpful to turn to friends and family for support and guidance. We’ve heard from many caregivers that they’ve previously disregarded concern from friends, family, and coworkers for their own well-being. Many times, the caregiver’s own doctor, or the doctor of the loved one they are caring for have also expressed concern. Many times, it’s these other people in a caregiver’s life that first bring up the idea of a nursing home.

While it can be easy to chalk these concerns up to a lack of understanding, or an overactive sense of worry, we encourage you to listen to the people in your life who express concern for your own health and well-being. A step or two removed from the situation, they can often see what you may not be able to.

Whatever criteria you use to make your decision, it is still a trying decision to make. We wish you well as you weigh this choice in your own life. If you decide you’d like to learn more, please contact The Woodleigh of Baton Rouge at 225-272-1401.